I don’t like phonebooks! With their stupid yellowy inky pages, poorly organized listings, abundance of ads for accident attorneys, and stupid stinky smells—I hate them!Nobody likes phonebooks! Ever since the advent of the world wide interweb they’ve become nothing but a way to sell wimpy weak magnet ads for plumbers and orthodontists!
Who needs phonebooks? Nobody! They’re nothing more than books full of advertisements, delivered right to my door with the expectation that I’ll let them in and thumb through them of my own will!
If someone dropped of a DVD full of a thousand cheap TV commercials with phone numbers at the end, would you take it inside and watch it? Of course not! It’s the same with phonebooks! Who likes them? No one! Who needs them? Nobody! And that’s why I’ll never, ever let one into my house ever, ever again! Not even once!