I recently invited my coworkers to take a dozen or so boxes of Macaroni and Cheese Lindsay and I had in our food storage. Completely free for the taking. But very few people were interested in them. I literally couldn’t give them away. Upon asking why, I was met with a dumbfounding answer. They weren’t the right brand.
“Excuse me?” I ranted. “Not the right brand? You mean to tell me you have discerned a difference between the Western Family and Kraft varieties of Macaroni and Cheese? And you’re not only willing to pay the ridiculous mark-up for it, but actually refuse a free box of the ‘generic’ version?”
I’m sorry folks, but when you’re stooping down that far, to actually partake of a pseudo-meal of powdered dairy substitute product and uncooked pasta, you have surrendered your right to be particular. You have crossed the threshold. You are no longer a chooser, but a shameless beggar. We’re not talking about which spice blend to include in stuffed quail or which method to use in preparing foi gras. We’re talking about cheap, sleazy, high-calorie and low-self-decency commercial slop. If you really can taste a difference in the Flavorite or Tru-Valu or Kroger brands, please don’t embarrass yourself by saying so, and please, please don’t insult mankind’s propriety by solemnly refusing anything but the “best.”
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