Professor Hanley McGormick Needs You

A fine morning greeting, colleagues. Though I probably need no introduction, there is a slight chance that some of you in the audience that may not know who I am. I am Professor Hanley McGormick of Century University.

And I've done it again.

Oh, you'll be getting plenty of information about it in the papers. They always did have a way of proclaiming my accomplishments in the headlines in bold, black, inky letters:

McCORMICK HAS ANOTHER BREAKTHROUGH

PROFESSOR MAKES NEW SHOCKING DISCOVERY

McCORMICK DOES IT AGAIN

And the thing is, they're always right! Always right. Makes my heart smile just thinking about it.

I'm not joking!

- Professor Hanley McGormick, Century University